Week 11 — When Eating and Drinking Significantly Decrease
The Gentle Ethics of Caregiving
Helping families navigate the hardest caregiving moments
Week 11 — When Eating and Drinking Significantly Decrease
Day 1: Understanding the Topic
There may come a time in caregiving when a loved one begins to eat and drink less.
At first, it may seem small.
Leaving food unfinished.
Taking fewer bites.
Saying they are not hungry.
But over time, it becomes more noticeable.
They may:
• eat very little
• refuse meals
• take only small sips of fluids
• hold food in their mouth without swallowing
• show little interest in eating
Caregivers often describe it as:
“They just don’t want to eat anymore.”
“I can’t get them to drink.”
“I’m worried they’re not getting enough.”
This stage can feel especially distressing.
Food and water are so closely tied to care, comfort, and survival.
Families may wonder:
Is this normal?
Should I be trying harder?
Are they suffering?
What This Change May Look Like
Decreased intake can happen gradually.
You may notice:
• smaller portions being eaten
• longer time needed to finish meals
• decreased interest in favorite foods
• difficulty chewing or swallowing
• increased fatigue during meals
These changes often occur alongside increased sleep and overall slowing.
Why This Happens
As the body changes, its needs begin to shift.
This can include:
• reduced appetite
• changes in metabolism
• decreased energy requirements
• difficulty swallowing
• reduced digestive function
The body may no longer process food and fluids in the same way.
This is not a choice.
It is a natural change in how the body functions.
A Different Perspective
For caregivers, eating and drinking are often seen as essential acts of care.
Providing food feels like providing life.
But during this stage, the body may no longer need or tolerate the same level of intake.
What may feel like “not enough” to a caregiver…
may be what the body is able to manage comfortably.
Caregiver Snapshot
Topic: Decreased eating and drinking
Who this affects: Aging adults with advanced illness or decline
Primary concern: Nutrition, hydration, and comfort
Caregiver focus: Gentle support, observation, and avoiding force
Caregiver Insight
Professional caregivers often understand that this stage is not about increasing intake at all costs.
It is about:
supporting comfort while respecting the body’s changing needs.
Warning Signs to Watch For
□ refusing meals or fluids
□ taking very small amounts
□ difficulty swallowing
□ holding food in the mouth
□ coughing or choking while eating
□ decreased interest in food
If several of these are present, it may be part of a natural progression.
12 Questions to Reflect on This Week
Has your loved one been eating less than usual?
Are they drinking less fluids?
Do they refuse meals or turn away from food?
Are meals taking longer than before?
Do they seem tired during eating?
Are they having difficulty swallowing?
Do they cough or choke while eating or drinking?
Are they holding food in their mouth?
Do they show interest in food at all?
Are you feeling pressure to get them to eat more?
Do you feel worried they are not getting enough?
What concerns you most about this change?
Try This Today
Offer a small amount of food or drink without pressure.
Notice:
• whether they accept or decline
• how they respond
• whether they seem comfortable
Let their response guide you.
A Gentle Reminder for Caregivers
This is one of the most difficult parts of caregiving.
It can feel like you are not doing enough.
But not all care is about increasing intake.
Sometimes it is about respecting what the body can no longer do.
Questions for Today
• Have you noticed changes in eating or drinking?
• Do you feel unsure how to respond?
• What concerns you most about this stage?
Tomorrow we will walk through a real-life caregiving situation and explain what may be happening physically when eating and drinking decrease.
Because sometimes what feels like something is wrong…
is the body moving into a different stage of need. 🤍