Week 10 - The Situation

The Gentle Ethics of Caregiving

Helping families navigate the hardest caregiving moments

Week 10 — When Sleeping Increases and Wakefulness Decreases

Day 2: A Common Caregiving Situation & What Is Happening Physically

Yesterday we talked about how sleep can begin to increase and wakefulness may decrease.

Today, let’s look at a moment many caregivers experience—one that can feel confusing and emotional.

The Situation

A caregiver sits beside her father in the afternoon.

He is resting in his chair.

She gently calls his name.

He opens his eyes for a moment, looks toward her, and then slowly closes them again.

She tries again a few minutes later.

This time, he responds softly—but his voice is quiet, and his words are few.

Within moments, he drifts back to sleep.

This is happening more often now.

He sleeps through parts of the day that he used to be awake for.

Conversations are shorter.

Moments of connection feel brief.

The caregiver begins to wonder:

Should I be waking him more?
Is he okay?
Is something wrong?

What Is Happening Inside the Body

Increased sleep during this stage is often not a choice.

It is the result of the body changing how it uses energy.

Decreased Energy Availability

The body is producing less energy than it once did.

Even simple activities like:

• talking
• sitting upright
• focusing attention

can require significant effort.

Sleep becomes the body’s way of restoring and conserving energy.

Changes in Brain Activity

The brain begins to spend more time in resting states.

This can lead to:

• longer sleep periods
• shorter wakeful interactions
• slower responses when awake

The transition between sleep and wakefulness may also become less defined.

Reduced Stimulation Tolerance

Being awake requires the brain to process:

• sound
• light
• conversation
• movement

As the body slows, this processing becomes more tiring.

Sleep becomes a more comfortable state than active engagement.

Natural Body Rhythm Changes

The body may no longer follow typical sleep patterns.

Instead of a clear day-night cycle, you may see:

• frequent naps
• drifting in and out of sleep
• shorter awake periods

This can feel unpredictable—but it is often part of the body’s natural adjustment.

Why This Moment Matters

To a caregiver, it can feel like:

• lost time
• missed opportunities for connection
• something that should be corrected

But in reality, the body is:

doing what it needs to maintain comfort and function.

Waking someone repeatedly can lead to:

• confusion
• fatigue
• irritability
• decreased comfort

Understanding Brief Moments of Wakefulness

Even though wakeful periods may be shorter, they can still be meaningful.

A brief moment of:

• eye contact
• a few words
• a small response

can still be a form of connection.

These moments may be different—but they still matter.

Caregiver Insight

Professional caregivers often learn to:

follow the person’s rhythm rather than trying to change it.

They recognize that:

• sleep is not the problem
• forcing wakefulness is not the solution
• comfort is the priority

Try This Today

The next time your loved one wakes briefly:

• speak gently
• keep interaction simple
• allow the moment to unfold naturally

If they fall back asleep, allow it.

Notice how this approach affects their comfort.

Awareness Questions

• Does your loved one seem comfortable while sleeping?
• Do they respond briefly when spoken to?
• Are you feeling pressure to keep them awake?
• Do they seem more at ease when allowed to rest?

Questions for Today’s Reflection

• How do you currently respond when your loved one falls asleep frequently?
• Do you feel unsure about when to wake them?
• What emotions come up when you see them sleeping more?

Tomorrow we will explore the safety and reality of increased sleep, including when to observe more closely and how to support comfort during this stage.

Because sometimes caregiving is not about creating more awake time—

it is about making the time that is awake feel safe and supported. 🤍